For now...

Over the weekend, my husband and I decided to truly pray about our little dog situation, while also going through the preparations of letting him go. We fed him his favorite food and tried to cater to his every need, although he just wanted to sleep.

One of the preparations was to prepare the site where Petee would be laid to rest. We are fortunate to have a lot of land, and as a result, we have a designated area where we have our beloved pet cemetery. This was my husband’s task, as unpleasant as it was; mine was to find a special “bed” in which he gets to be placed in his plot. We began our tasks with a prayer.

I began this “task” in Jamestown, searching different antique and second-hand stores for just the right-sized item. For some reason, I could not call it a “box” or “casket” – it sounded too final. The first store that I went into was an antique store and was asked by the woman behind the counter, “Are you okay?” Usually, when I walk through these stores (I know most of the owners because I live locally), I take my time but this time, I walked through quickly and with a purpose. When I explained what I was looking for, her eyes filled with tears and immediately started helping me but to no avail. After making some recommendations, I was on my way to another location, and again, unsuccessful. I made my way up the hill and down, and did this continuously for hours and eventually came home empty handed.

Once home, I sat in the car and came to the conclusion that God must be telling me something. At the same time, my husband came out of nowhere (at least it seemed that way to me!) and opened the car door for me, wondering why I was just sitting there staring into space. I recapped my travels and when I finished he said to me, “I don’t believe it is his time.”

Petee is eating, has normal “outdoor functions” and still barks when he needs to go out. And although he has impaired vision due to his severe cataracts, and fields his way around the kitchen slowly (sometimes not as well as others… but never in danger of hurting himself), there is a little sign of cognitive disorder. The one definitive change is his aloofness towards the other dogs and to us. He has pulled away with a stoic edge, as if he either doesn’t want us to know he is in pain or just wants to be left alone except when he needs something. He has always been a proud little dog. It’s as if he really knows he is a pedigree Long-haired Chihuahua.

So, we both came to the conclusion after much prayer that God, and Petee, in their own time, and without any deliberation, will help us to know and to make obvious, the answer. We are breathing again…, for now.